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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| do you ever get the feeling that you're coming closer and closer to the most dreaded day of your life and you have no hand/food/lever brake to rely on?
i'm there. god help me.
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| Tomorrow I am getting my first pictures published in the New York Times.
On my way.
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| the best full year of my life comes to a close tomorrow.
I've gained a new name, a new sense of self, new friends, and a new outlook.
I've lost any trace of my awkward years.
I have emerged.
I'm so happy, grateful, everything. let's just hope the future doesn't come crashing
down.
love,
'mike white'
PS: Tanzania, here i come
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| can you believe it?
4 months and my life is new. here i stand. happy. friends. incredibly involved. there's a girl who's super cool. bordering fratty. reunited with kendall. in touch with those who matter. i couldn't have made a better decision. i wouldn't wish for anything more fulfilling. i wouldn't want anywhere more serene. i couldn't stand friends with less quirks. i couldn't be more appreciative of my life and your life and all the ups and downs that make it real.
this isn't me
this is the new me.
and judgemental psycho-analysis aside, there's never been a better me.
ever in love with the condition known as living,
j. michael white
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| August 5, 2004
marybeth barham's surprise 16th party. small gathering, close friends, ddr, pinata, chinese food.
At this time, I'd had no serious relationships, I was training vigoriously for winter track, and my best friends were marybeth, ryan and ben. I was complacently optimistic about everything that came my way, and cared little for the likes of clothes, drinking, and, to be frank, women. of the people I hung out with, day in, day out, for 3 years of my life, I've retained 3 friends. maybe i was never happy with the old group. maybe I just hung out with them because it was same, it was normal, it was almost but never quite interesting enough. perhaps i burned the bridges, started the drama, crushed souls, killed hopes, led people on... though in my heart and mind i disagree with all the charges.
i lived to be real. now i live to live.
August 4th, 2006.
tomorrow I'm throwing the party of the summer,
massive gathering, copious drinking and drugs, kegs, grilling out. marybeth barham will be purposefully avoiding the scene.
At this time, I'm just about ready to leave for college, and half of me wonders how I've been recently claiming that I don't think I've changed. Everyone's changed, most for the worse. Perhaps this is the disgustingly cliche end of innocence I thought I'd be avoiding. life's no fairy tale, and i'm pretty sure xanga stands for all the childhood i'm so close to leaving behind. i'll never stop coming back to look over a random entry, but i just can't bring myself to stay. this may sound as if i'm ending on a pessimistic note; perhaps I am. Perhaps lamenting the end of an era is perfectly normal, and the tone in my writing can't help but exude the emotion. we hope you enjoyed your stay in highschool, and that your layover in college will be an enjoyable one. see you in the real world once my plane finally arrives.
at least i still kick ass at DDR.
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